Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
