don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
