So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
