is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
