you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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