All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
