I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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