??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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