I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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