don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she peed on how many people?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
