I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
