Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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