I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
