There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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