Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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