omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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