absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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