Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Dick very happy bro
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
