I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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