Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
