It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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