is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
