Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
