She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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