he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
