My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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