i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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