We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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