We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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