Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
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To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
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He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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