a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
