we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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