I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
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I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
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Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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