Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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