i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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