i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
