This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
