But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
