I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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