Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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