I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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