How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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