you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
