Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
