how can u be prego again
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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