Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
