Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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