Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
