The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
