Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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