She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
