Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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