I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
