The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
