Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
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she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
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i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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