i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
